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Apr. 1st, 2016 09:10 pmI am, as of yesterday, back on antidepressants. Whether for that reason or something else,* I am feeling markedly better, emotionally; whereas the couple of days before that were...rough. So I definitely think it was the right decision.
It feels weird when I think about it, though. Some of you will applaud my decision to go back on meds. But if I told you, "I've been feeling kinda crummy lately, so I think I'm gonna start drinking again"...you would probably point me toward a twelve-step program. Despite the fact that both budeprion and ethanol are drugs, both can make you feel better, both are things that you will come to depend on if you use them regularly, and both will likely make you feel like hell if you try to kick them.**
Sooo... I guess I feel - irrationally - like we're a bit hypocritical on this point, as a society.
But also feeling better.
* Relevant here is that, with the end of Lent, I have been consuming beer and chocolate pretty much non-stop. I suspect that some part of the depression may, in fact, have been mild malnutrition; and it is a sad commentary on the general state of my otherwise healthy diet that the presence or absence of dessert and booze pretty much make the difference between gaining weight and losing it...and as some of you know, I don't have much to lose!
** Yes, I *know* Welbutrin and its ilk are supposedly nonaddictive. It's technically true, I guess; but the exact details of semiotics (and medical background) are something I would have to look up in order to understand. And yes, I know what alcohol does to your brain, liver, waistline, and mental health. But my point stands. Both are drugs. And alcohol is a lot more fun.
It feels weird when I think about it, though. Some of you will applaud my decision to go back on meds. But if I told you, "I've been feeling kinda crummy lately, so I think I'm gonna start drinking again"...you would probably point me toward a twelve-step program. Despite the fact that both budeprion and ethanol are drugs, both can make you feel better, both are things that you will come to depend on if you use them regularly, and both will likely make you feel like hell if you try to kick them.**
Sooo... I guess I feel - irrationally - like we're a bit hypocritical on this point, as a society.
But also feeling better.
* Relevant here is that, with the end of Lent, I have been consuming beer and chocolate pretty much non-stop. I suspect that some part of the depression may, in fact, have been mild malnutrition; and it is a sad commentary on the general state of my otherwise healthy diet that the presence or absence of dessert and booze pretty much make the difference between gaining weight and losing it...and as some of you know, I don't have much to lose!
** Yes, I *know* Welbutrin and its ilk are supposedly nonaddictive. It's technically true, I guess; but the exact details of semiotics (and medical background) are something I would have to look up in order to understand. And yes, I know what alcohol does to your brain, liver, waistline, and mental health. But my point stands. Both are drugs. And alcohol is a lot more fun.
